It terrifies me at the thought that I cannot guarantee I will always remember everything. I can’t say that I will remember any aspect of my life. At any given time all my experiences and knowledge could be sucked back into the black void that is a mind without thoughts. The monster that absorbs memories lives forever in the back of my mind, ready to pounce on anything it pleases and demolish anything it touches. The beast does not discriminate, any corner of my mind could be chipped away and dissolved into nothingness, crucial or not, and never be retrieved again.
There is no way to evade the villain, for it lives inside my own mind.
I have no way to know what memories have been lost, or how they left my own head. Maybe I don’t remember something that happened long ago that I should have, something so outrageously grand that you would think impossible to forget. Maybe I tried to forget something, and it worked. There are infinite maybes, but only one answer; there is no possible way for me to know if that did happen. My own mind is at the disposal of forgetting. I have no control over what memories stay, and which one’s go to oblivion.
My deepest fear is that the dark entity will slowly consume every morsel of thought that ever passed through my head, sweeping up memory after memory, and hollowing out my very person. The thought tortures my brain, for I know the shadow has already infected my mind and started clouding my brain with a fate worse than death; a life without thought.
Or maybe, just maybe, someone or something is extracting my thoughts, dreams, and memories and filing them away somewhere distant to use them for who knows what.
Maybe, but I just don’t know.
Or maybe I just don’t remember.
-Written by Jacquelyn Routledge